R U OK? Day is tomorrow, Thursday 8 September, when all Australians will be asked to reconnect with family, friends and colleagues to ask them R U OK? Asking a young person R U OK? might be the first step for them in getting help for a tough time they are experiencing. That’s why our ReachOut Youth Ambassadors have decided to share their own stories and give their advice on the best way to ask.
Neha, a 24-year-old Youth Ambassador from Sydney, knew that it was time to ask the question when a close friend started asking about meditation. ‘It was off-character for her to ask me something like this, so I was more alert to the conversation. Asking the question “R U OK?” helped me gain awareness of her struggle with anxiety at uni. When she stopped talking online I gave her a call and organised to drop by for a visit. I ended up going over with chamomile tea and ice-creams. We talked and got our minds off uni ‘til the early hours of the morning. We're a lot closer now and we both find it easier to say “I'm not OK”.’
When he asked his girlfriend if she was doing OK recently, Jeremy*, a 19-year-old Youth Ambassador from Canberra, found a way to relieve his girlfriend’s stress and create something she could look forward to. ‘She was looking a little fragile; she had bloodshot eyes and was sniffling a bit. I went up to her, gave her a hug and asked her what was on her mind. She opened up to me saying that she was feeling stressed about her exams. I told her that when she's done with them we can go out and have breakfast somewhere to celebrate. I could see in her face how much it meant to her. Just for a second she wasn't thinking about her exams and she looked so much happier.’
Once you’ve noticed a need to ask R U OK?, it might be tough to find a good time. But Taylor, 24 from Adelaide, says ‘There may never be a right time! You might just have to go for it. If you can, you could create the right time by asking the person you are concerned about to come and have dinner or a cup of tea, giving you both an opportunity to chat.’
On the other hand, Carissa, 20 years old and hailing from Adelaide, says there’s hardly a bad time. ‘All it takes is a quiet moment and thirty seconds of courage. If you feel the need to ask the question, then that person probably needs your help and support.’
Opening up can be tough but it’s worth it. If you get the brush-off, our Youth Ambassadors say you shouldn’t give up. ‘Sometimes it just takes a while for someone to open up. Give them some time, and if there’s an opportunity that feels right then ask them again. It’s hard asking if someone’s OK -- sometimes it’s easier to say you’ll be there if they aren't feeling OK in the future, giving them reassurance that you do care,’ says Alex, 20 years old from Adelaide.
ReachOut.com lays out heaps more advice about asking the question, and our mates at R U OK? have these simple tips to get your conversation started:
Two days after R U OK? Day, on Saturday, 10 September 2016, World Suicide Prevention Day will bring home the importance of checking in with a mate. You can help raise awareness of suicide in Australia by getting involved in an event near you – just check out the online event tracker.
*Some names have been changed to maintain Youth Ambassadors’ privacy.
Neha, a 24-year-old Youth Ambassador from Sydney, knew that it was time to ask the question when a close friend started asking about meditation. ‘It was off-character for her to ask me something like this, so I was more alert to the conversation. Asking the question “R U OK?” helped me gain awareness of her struggle with anxiety at uni. When she stopped talking online I gave her a call and organised to drop by for a visit. I ended up going over with chamomile tea and ice-creams. We talked and got our minds off uni ‘til the early hours of the morning. We're a lot closer now and we both find it easier to say “I'm not OK”.’
When he asked his girlfriend if she was doing OK recently, Jeremy*, a 19-year-old Youth Ambassador from Canberra, found a way to relieve his girlfriend’s stress and create something she could look forward to. ‘She was looking a little fragile; she had bloodshot eyes and was sniffling a bit. I went up to her, gave her a hug and asked her what was on her mind. She opened up to me saying that she was feeling stressed about her exams. I told her that when she's done with them we can go out and have breakfast somewhere to celebrate. I could see in her face how much it meant to her. Just for a second she wasn't thinking about her exams and she looked so much happier.’
Once you’ve noticed a need to ask R U OK?, it might be tough to find a good time. But Taylor, 24 from Adelaide, says ‘There may never be a right time! You might just have to go for it. If you can, you could create the right time by asking the person you are concerned about to come and have dinner or a cup of tea, giving you both an opportunity to chat.’
On the other hand, Carissa, 20 years old and hailing from Adelaide, says there’s hardly a bad time. ‘All it takes is a quiet moment and thirty seconds of courage. If you feel the need to ask the question, then that person probably needs your help and support.’
Opening up can be tough but it’s worth it. If you get the brush-off, our Youth Ambassadors say you shouldn’t give up. ‘Sometimes it just takes a while for someone to open up. Give them some time, and if there’s an opportunity that feels right then ask them again. It’s hard asking if someone’s OK -- sometimes it’s easier to say you’ll be there if they aren't feeling OK in the future, giving them reassurance that you do care,’ says Alex, 20 years old from Adelaide.
ReachOut.com lays out heaps more advice about asking the question, and our mates at R U OK? have these simple tips to get your conversation started:
- To help someone open up, find a time and place that works for you both.
- Make sure you’re in a good headspace, so you’re not distracted or stressed.
- Ask them ‘are you OK?’ or ‘how are you going?’
- If a mate or loved one brushes off your concerns, don’t be afraid to dig a little deeper.
Two days after R U OK? Day, on Saturday, 10 September 2016, World Suicide Prevention Day will bring home the importance of checking in with a mate. You can help raise awareness of suicide in Australia by getting involved in an event near you – just check out the online event tracker.
*Some names have been changed to maintain Youth Ambassadors’ privacy.
